Years ago when our children were young a sister friend and I were talking and she said that she was more like an Eagle Mama and I was more like an Owl Mama. She went on to say that Eagle Mama’s were more likely to kick their eaglets out of the nest while teaching them to fly (eagles don’t actually do this) and Owl Mama’s were more likely to check on their owlets every step of the way while teaching them to fly (this isn’t necessarily true either). But the important piece for this post today is that she went on to say every Owl Mama needed an Eagle Mama friend and every Eagle Mama needed an Owl Mama friend. In this scenario I was the Owl Mama and she was the Eagle Mama.
Here are some ways that owls teach their young to fly:
Branching
Owls that nest in trees, like Northern Hawk-Owls, climb nearby branches to learn to fly.
Nest dispersal
Owls that nest on the ground, like Short-eared Owls, find cover in nearby grass or shrubs to learn to fly.
Wing flapping
Owls practice flapping their wings, which can send fluff flying in all directions.
Short flights
Owls make their first short flights at around 8–9 weeks old.
Fledging
By 10 weeks old, most young owls are competent flyers and look like adults.
Owl parents continue to feed and care for their young for several months after they learn to fly. If you find a baby owl outside the nest, you can try to return it safely to its nest. The parents will not reject it if you touch it. If you find a fledgling, leave it be as its parents are likely nearby.
Here are some ways eagles help their young learn to fly:
Withholding food
As the eaglets get close to fledging, the adults may withhold food and encourage them to fly to a nearby perch to get it.
Coaxing
Eagles may coax or taunt their young from the nest.
Swooping
When the fledgling is almost ready to fly, the parents may swoop by the nest with a fresh kill and eat in plain view of the eaglet.
Flying around the nest
When the time to fledge approaches, the parents may fly around the nest while vocalizing to encourage the eaglets to fledge.
Eaglets often fall to the ground when they first start flapping their wings, which is usually around eight weeks of age. This is because they are still developing muscle strength and have not yet mastered take-off and landing skills. The parents will continue to feed the eaglets on the ground until they are strong enough to fly.
What brings this up for me here and now is that I am in the middle of eldering a group of adults from across the country in my Fire & Water cohort and at the same time taking applications for the next one and I have been thinking about how/if this applies to the work of initiation.
Fire and Water is a 16 month Leadership/Rites of Passage Journey for adults. It was developed because I noticed that we have such an adolescent adult culture. I started to wonder how do we grow up adults? I also noticed that we don’t have a lack of leaders, we have a lack of wise leadership. Leadership just means that people are following you, it says nothing about where you are taking them.
"If you don't initiate the youth
they will burn down the village just to feel it's warmth."
African Proverb
If we don’t have initiated adults, we can’t have initiated elders. If we don’t have initiated elders we can’t initiate the youth. It has become this cycle of adolescent adults growing more adolescent adults. We are growing older but aren’t growing up.
So back to the Owl Mama, Eagle Mama. In Robert Bly’s book Iron John he says that men need two births, one by a female mother, and one by a male mother (a nurturing male). What I have learned in the past 5 years and 4 cohorts of Fire & Water is that so much of eldering is about healthy parenting. This allows us to go back and get some things that our parents might not have been able to give us.
Two of the books that Sylvia Brown wrote were called Mother God: The Feminine Principle to our Creator and Father God: Co-creator to Mother God. What I love about these two books is that it talks about Mother God love as love that teaches us that we are love no matter what, we don’t have to earn it, it just is always there. Father God love teaches that we are love because we are worthy, because we contribute, because we has something important to offer.
I think the essence of what she was speaking about Owl Mama love is the Mother God and the essence of Eagle Mama love in the Father God (no matter which gender carries it).
In growing into our own unique genius in the world we are called to heal the divine masculine and feminine within. This, I believe helps us to do just that.
What kind of parenting do you feel you need more of and why?
Quanita
Comments