This weekend I was invited to celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. with some wonderful people in Lancaster, Ohio. The DEIB group from the local Chamber of Commerce supported this gathering. We were hosted in the Fairfield County District Library.
Some of what I witnessed was how hungry we are for connection with each other and how it doesn't take much to open up space for us to meet each other in ways that we didn't think possible in a small window of time.
I am reminded of my dear sister/friend Rhea saying “You can’t create community, because community is a natural phenomena, you can only create the conditions that support community”.
Some of the tools that I use in this is:
A circle of chairs: There is something that is activated in us when we return to this ancient structure of facing each other. There is something in our reptilian brains that remembers that we belong to each other. In these moments we often simultaneously feel the comfort of belonging and the fear of being being rejected all at the same time.
The lightest touch: I am often looking for what is the lightest touch. We so often over plan these spaces and when we do we don’t leave any room for the magic to happen. We actually squeeze all the life out of the room. Less is more.
Questions that restore agency: This is something that I first learned from Peter Block. There are questions that shifts the power in the room. One example is we often ask people what they want to get out of are time together instead of asking why it was important for them to be there. The first question puts the focus on the presenter, the second on the participants.
Ask the question underneath the question: Allow space and time for people to be in deeper conversation. We are meaning maker, so given the time and space we will find connections.
Honor the gifts: Give people space and time to thank each other and to speak into the whole community what is important to them. I often ask, “What is a gift that you are walking away with today?” or “What is a S.I.P. (something Simple, Impactful, and Powerful) that you are taking with you?”
Show up. Be real: We are so hungry for real and less performative presence. In a time of imitation instead of integration we are surrounding by what I call fools gold. So many people know all the “right” things to say but it’s hollow and it’s easy to be fooled but when we hear real we can feel it in our bones. We may not be able to name it but we can feel it.
I would like to thank the wonderful group of people from Lancaster, Ohio for reminding me of all of these things. And for inspiring me to go back to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s quote:
“Power without love is reckless and abusive and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at it’s best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at it’s best is power correcting everything that stands against love.”
For reminding me that power is more than external. For showing me, a stranger to them, hospitality, kindness, and grace in their community.
Quanita
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