This is the 92nd blog post in a 100 day challenge. I started this as a relay after my sister/friend Rhea posted her 100th post. I used that day to post my 1st post. My 1st post was titled Sacred Sacrifice. This posting is a sacred sacrifice. Ritual, an offering with the promise for something greater.
I first thought about doing a video blog because I'm dyslexic and writing takes a little more effort for me. Sight words aren't sight words for me. I often will think one word and then write another. If you are one of the people who reading this soon after I post each day I'm sorry you haven't gotten the best version. I often come back later and clean it up a bit.
I am persistent with lots of things in my life but daily practice is not something I have been good with in the past. To be honest I don't know if I would have kept up with it if early on Tenneson didn't say to me, "Even if you did 30-40 days it would still have some good stuff for you." Sometimes I'm prideful and stubborn. Sometimes it works for me instead of against me. I can doubt me but I couldn't stand the thought that he would.
I don't consider myself a writer, I do consider myself a storyteller. A couple people have said that they think my writing has gotten better as the days have gone on. I don't know if that is true or not. Most people know the public Quanita, the one that is in front of lots of groups or that shares post on social media. Very few people know the private Quanita. The one that couch bonds and watches Divorce Court and spends lots of time alone. The more my work grows the more introverted my private self becomes. I say all this to say that I think the change in my writing has been that I have become more comfortable sharing more of my private self as time has gone by.
One of the things that I love about Tenneson is that he holds a value of learning in public. I growing in that as well. I do believe that my ability to trust others is directly related to me trusting the divine. I also know that I tell people lots of things about me, things that seem vulnerable but that doesn't mean that I'm always sharing my private self. Often it's just information. I hold my private self for the people closest to me.
Quanita
Thank you for being brave enough to write in public every day. I have learned, am learning. I have thought often about doing a blog myself. I've been writing a haiku every morning in a 90-day practice leading up to my birthday in April. Haiku felt "small enough" that I could manage that every morning without fail. The *without fail* part was important. I didn't want to set myself up with a big idea that I couldn't actually stick to with heart. Not one more "goal" for me to worry about, basically. Freedom can be tricky that way.