When I was young I used to play the what if game with my dad. He would make a statement and I would follow it up with, "But what if this happens?" He would offer an answer and I would follow up once again with, "But what if this happens?" I loved this game when I was young because it seemed to carry some comfort of an answer for every question.
I believe that often our view of the divine is often a reflection of our first relationships with our parents. I notice that I still carry this thread, the game of what if with my own relationship to the divine masculine? Here are some of my what if's today.
What if claiming my own captivity is actually how I find my freedom?
What if surrendering to my own divine spirit within is my way out?
What if this is the key to freeing this caged bird?
If so why do I insist on resisting this inner call?
What part of me is still, even after all of these years, is afraid of total complete freedom?
What parts of my own divine self am I afraid of even while I so deeply yearn to meet myself?
What needs to still be grieved in me to really transform what still needs to be transformed?
Quanita
Oh my. This list of questions makes me gasp a little. Especially the final four:
Why do I insist on resisting this inner call?
What part of me is still, even after all of these years, afraid of total complete freedom?
What parts of my own divine self am I afraid of even while I so deeply yearn to meet myself?
What needs to still be grieved in me to really transform what still needs to be transformed?
My therapist has said to me, "You say you want this. But do you really?"
I hear the roots of that question within the questions you have posed.
Apparently, there is some writing for me to do ... as writing is a…